Greenhouse

I stood for 2 hours in the dark, behind a young couple with a 2 year old kid to dine at Greenhouse by Joost. To while the time away, we alternated between waiting in line and seeing who could get drunk the quickest off $16 dollar cocktails in jars from the rooftop bar.

When it was my turn to wait in line by myself, I struck up a conversation with the bloke in front of me. His kid was understandably going bonkers from hunger, running around in circles and dodging mum. I asked the man what TV shows kids watched these days.

Greenhouse by Joost

Dad: In the night garden. It's insane.

Me: What do you mean?

*Mum finally catches her kid*

Mum: (panting heavily) It's the ninky nonk!

Dad: She means it's crack for kids.

Back in my day, we had Playschool and The Trap Door. Even as a 4 year old kid, I thought Drutt making fart noises was weird, but current children's tv is a whole new dimension of whacked up. Take Yo Gabba Gabba for example.

After a particularly hard night clubbing, my mates and I found ourselves at someone's home. It was around 8am so we were either still inebriated or massively hung-over, but too pumped up to sleep. Someone turned on the TV and all we could see was a man in Orange surrounded by colourful monsters shaking and singing. It was like we were on drugs. We were mesmerised until a monster swallowed another whilst dancing. Let's just say, the contents of our intestines were almost more colourful than the show.  

What's the freakiest kid's show you've seen lately?